Worst Song Of The Decade

January 11, 2010

No not the...actually yes...the razor

Jewel Intuition. By Far the biggest piece of shit released from 2000-2009.

This song has everything that could go wrong with a song and most of it in the first verse.

Worst Song Point #1: Stock lyrics that suck…rhyming “girl” with “world”
In the first line of the song she breaks this rule. Unless you are David Lee Roth, WORLD and GIRL do not rhyme. Also, filling a song with pop culture references that are dated before the song is even released.

Worst song point #2: Name dropping in the song
Again, Immediately this comes up “They say Miss J’s big butt is boss, Kate Moss can’t find a job”
Puke sandwich with a side of GET BACK TO MANNING THE FRIES little girl. Miss J? You mean Jennifer Lopez? Her ass is the boss? Your boss? Not my boss. If it is my boss it’s by far the laziest worker in here. Never shows up. And who gives a shit about Kate Moss? Not I. If you care so much about her work situation hire her!

Worst song point #3: More pop culture name dropping!!!!
“You learn cool from magazines, You learn love from Charlie Sheen”
God dammit there are times you wish you could shut off all senses to avoid crap like this. So she’s irritated that a performer with a big ass is popular and a coke head anorexic model is out of work and now Charie Sheen is selling self help sex tapes? Did she buy this by mistake? Where did she come across this love making by Mr Sheen that bothers her so much?

Worst Song Point #4: Song about being anti-commercial goes straight to commercial
This is the best ever. The song tells you to use your intuition and not listen to the main stream media, TV, ads, magazines, etc.

“You got something that you want me to sell, Sell your sin. Just cash in.”

And she did. The song not only went straight to a razor commercial but the razor is called “intuition”. Could you be more of a sell out?

Worst Song Point #5: Artist Changed Music Genre For Mass Appeal
Went from semi popular folk singer with huge boobs and 2 songs that were good but only due to them being the exact same song to a cookie cutter pop singer with huge boobs and no good songs.

See where I’m going here??? I don’t know any other folk singers that fit that description but I do know a ton of pop singers that do. Basically all of them.

Where does the intuition part come in again?

Worst Song Point #6: The Song Just Sucks!
If you threw monkey feces at a fan and recorded that it’d be basically the same song as what we have here BUT it would at least be original. No pop references, no fad anything. Not trying to be anything actually other than feces hitting a fan. Stinks but it’s supposed to.

And there you have it. The Worst song of the decade. Good job Jewel. Now get that snaggle tooth pulled or better yet, get a grill and start gangsta rapping. Your award will be ready in 10 years.


One comment

  1. Oh, so you’re saying you like it then. Cool.

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